There is a popular term amongst younger people – ‘attention whore’. The Urban dictionary describes this term as an individual who will go to any lengths in order to receive attention; it does not matter whether the attention comes from positive or negative means. Now, the term attention whore is a negative term. People bandy the term around for anyone they deem to be engaging in [usually] negative attention seeking behaviour. THIS WINDS ME UP! Ok, so I am not saying that negative attention seeking should be encouraged – it shouldn’t. However, we all need attention. As babies, we cry to get fed, changed or *just* for attention.
As toddlers we may go through the terrible two’s whilst we find boundaries – when doing this, we kick and scream and trash things…for attention. As we go through school when we get good grades or the like we cannot wait to tell our parents – we want the positive response (ATTENTION! ). Now imagine crying as a baby and no one noticing. Imagine having your terrible two’s and that is the only time you get attention. Imagine your parents not caring about your school work. Now, as adults we have to take responsibility for ourselves and our actions. For some of us, this is easier.
We have had stable childhoods and have learnt what is sociably acceptable. For some, however, it is more difficult. They make think attention is wrong to have, it may feel uncomfortable. They may not realise what is going on for them. Fake pregnancies, cutting, making or creating dramas. This type of behaviour is difficult to be around. I personally used to be the first to judge and slate people for it. But then I got thinking and asked myself what it was that made these people make up these things. Maybe there are people out there who just crave attention for no obvious, apparent, deep dark reason.
But my belief is that if we have understanding and patience with people, people can change. What would make someone disrespect their own body so much that they cut themselves? Or be promiscuous? I am a firm believer in radical honesty – be totally honest. Honesty is a fantastic key to the door to the healing. However, we cannot be afraid to be judged for being honest. Be honest. Be kind. Be understanding. Be patient. Most of all imagine what it would be like to have to go to those lengths just to be noticed. What an unhappy person that person must be.